This day is worth to be marked on this page as this is my first ever night shift at office. shit... sitting all alone amidst of comps even after knowing that i will have nothing useful except to read and blog, but still sitting coz of stupid managerial ideas. leave it....
At this time my mind is going bonkers....shit what the hell will be the net result of this blog...even i dnt kno at this point of time... it might be worth enough once i read it when am in complete form to understand it(!). today there is also my previous blog telling one sweet incident. i dnt kno y ppl never understand or y they understand in wrong senses or y am i talking in such a way that ppl get all their notions on me. shit...that life isnt it? and will i give it up? u all know the answer noooooooooooooooooooooo...... cos thats me... cant give up just bcoz everything is going wrong... then what is the use of butterfly effect try...try ... try... try even after failure... might be failures are my victories...that is what am destined to, so let me do all that i want/have/wish/will do....
these days am reading a lot of political,public,sensitive news and stories. I am planning to create a separate blog to write my views on it as this one is becoming more of personal stuffs and i really dnt wish to mingle both, as they have many things which will surely be hurted with my blogs here, so i wud like to have it other way....
I also planned to finish all my draft blogs today, but was busy searching some books, so might be tomorrow i finish them which might fill the days passed away in between....
Things unfinished or left in the middle are always good, the last f***ed up relation also teached me the same....
i m luving it...not an add to mcdonalds but it is abt my life... shit happens and i dnt bother to cover it up instead keep moving on to find new ones.... shit... what shit am i talking...shitty nonsenses...;-)
what the hell am i scribbling here?
am roaming around the world siting in one chair, and searching for all that i need but in vain.omg....
I watched Hangover movie, good one...worth the watch...also i saw Subramaniyapuram yesterday, second time but the true impact wast there ly yesterday after watching it with good effects and clear print, the director has done a good job, art director mus be saluted, what pain to create 80's backdrop that too so tidely, the team deserves all the applause, i worry for not able to see it in theatre, will compromise that by getting one original dvd.
i gues enough for now, too much might cause me feeling of hangover... let me read tomorrow and laugh at this...;-)
Friday, November 27, 2009
The 'f' mail
Today am starting from where it was left. here is a f**k off mail which i got after just two chat sessions with my admired blogger. who cares, shit happens, this might also be a reason for me not being around here quite sometime, there other primary reasons like concentrating on other stuffs, trying to do someting which interests me and i luv, to make money. Trying for a different job altogether for living, lets see how things work, but before it, below are two mails first i got, second i sent,
why the hell shud i put this personal mail on a public forum?... define 'personal'? that is where i started and it went on till i was really convinced that am not doing anything stupid(might be for u.who cares, its my blog n i can put anything on it, right?)
Being in a blogger world and a world where 'Survival of Fittest' theory only works, I thought this would keep reminding me that i ask and talk too much which ends up with something like this.
--------------------------
Recieved mail
--------------------------
Hi
Why mail? I was waiting for the afternoon conversation to happen for sometime.I expected the first conversation itslef to go that way and I get to tell what I wanted to from day one........
I will tell u onething.......I have definitely been in blogger world from long and you don't see many of them commenting...., but I know quite a few people and once I remember I read this girls whole 4 yr life history on net, all her past.........was out there and present tooo....
I remeber how I sat day and night and read her......becasue she was someone who I was ,,,,or I almost was.....she is the one from whom I learnt so many things..how to be in blogger world and how not to hurt others and tresspass their privacy, especially to repsect who they are and one big lesson..Never conclude.......how much you have read abt that person, know that you have not known them....all this without even chatting with her.....it was not necesarry ., it really is not necessary....you better realize it...but she is someone hwom I immensly respect..and she had said something about ppl who read her blog regularly and never comment.its not taking cheap pleasure...its knwoing a friends life.and so many times I know I stood by her .just in thoughts...after I read what she wrote I felt no need to present myslef....nor I was a regular out there...just occasionally to check whether she is fine or her son is fine.........she was too bold and open out there and she was more forthwrit....like if she has seen your coment on first day.she would have told you..thanks...but please fuck off.........this not your case study mr freud.......:) I knew u r doing the samething and expected some people would turn their blog private.........
wats the problem........? you are very egoistic for the personal blog world...........
and very new too.......if you have written.......that I was diff....that day itslef you should have realized I will have no qualms in shattering somebodys else ego if they tresspass my ego.and I have a very strong ego.....to let yours win......
And why.....this mail.....I am just concerned....many other ppl like that other girl......may shut their blogs private..coz of ppl like you.may be if i was an active blogger I would have done the same.......
or if I had any concern left abt my past effecting ppl opinions......but don't trample down others territory....and if you show half this concern and time...towards one person around you..you will discover wonderful ppl in real life....you will know those gilrs were much better....before you ruled them off as.....just concerned about nail polishes...brainless........
Ha!!! I remeber showing door to so many ppl like you just bcoz they said I am more independent and diff than many women they knew........and hell......someone is so egoistic and prejuidiced to give that statement and I think they are great......!!!!well......I love to show them their way out........puncturing with their big fat egos......sorry I have no problem with you....I tend to show my ego when others flaunt theirs an dthink that they are the only people who possess it........!!!!!1
and finally thanks to that blogger who taught me how to be still human after managing to say when it is necesarry to say
FUCK OFF
----------------------------
Reply mail
----------------------------
This my reaction...lol....
srry...am not meaning to hurt ur ego which is stronger not to leave me win or anything for the biggest email i have ever recieved....but this was it...that is how i felt...to laugh...not at you but at me....
fine...now to the point...if you guess i have an ego and prejudiced to things, it is true but am trying to be not that and i guess i am bit successful in it...it might be with some failures, but am learning...there is a long way ahead to go and be egoless....so i am not here to win your ego, if that is wat u want then, here it is i.....surrender...fine....?
next, you could have told whatever you want at the first instance or when we spoke, instead of waiting, i wouldnt have minded, because after learning your blog fully , i know you hated tresspassers and people who dint respect your privacy, but to make a point here, I do respect your privacy and also the privacy of my brainless and bangle chasing girls, that is the reason why I had always told you can decide to or not to ans or reply to my q's.
dint I tell you in the begining that i am best at pulling the wrong string at exactly at the worst situation? here is one more example...;-) it is happnd throughout my life...and you know what still am learning about it....
and about the last conversation, i was not there to make judgements on you or pass comments on you, but i was trying to find out the reason it is my inquistivness to know y, y ppl take choices like this, might be i have not had that view or never felt the way you felt or things you have seen and i know i might not be able to also, so it is just to know, moreover i did respect you as the friend you have mentioned and never wanted to be the out n out guy u have concluded me to be now....I was giving my views as you did...nothing personal it was just general view i had....
conclusion...the word...never conclude....the words you have written in the email below, so what have you done about me? you have concluded....that am one person with the big fat ego around here, dont know to respect ppl's privacy, dont know to be concerned to the ppl around and so on.... anyway thanks for the conlusions...it is not going to stop me from what i am...
About personal blogging, might be or surely I dont know the meaning of it, i am really a kid in the block, but am as inqisitvie as a kid to know everything that i can in this world, so i am here roaming around in this world and meet ppl like you n other gal n many others...to know this world, it is not my case study but it is my life that is roaming around here...
I would be online n you can chat with me on this or email, you will be always welcomed, provided if you would like.... and dont worry i would not ping you or email you to trespass the privacy you want....
and lastly...how is your health..hope it is good shape by now...take care...
thaks once again for making me write my first biggest email and sending.... ;-)
if this is my last conversation...just in case...I would tell all the best for your future and the path you are going to travel....take care
enjoy....;-)
als urs
MuthuKumar R
How did you feel?
why the hell shud i put this personal mail on a public forum?... define 'personal'? that is where i started and it went on till i was really convinced that am not doing anything stupid(might be for u.who cares, its my blog n i can put anything on it, right?)
Being in a blogger world and a world where 'Survival of Fittest' theory only works, I thought this would keep reminding me that i ask and talk too much which ends up with something like this.
--------------------------
Recieved mail
--------------------------
Hi
Why mail? I was waiting for the afternoon conversation to happen for sometime.I expected the first conversation itslef to go that way and I get to tell what I wanted to from day one........
I will tell u onething.......I have definitely been in blogger world from long and you don't see many of them commenting...., but I know quite a few people and once I remember I read this girls whole 4 yr life history on net, all her past.........was out there and present tooo....
I remeber how I sat day and night and read her......becasue she was someone who I was ,,,,or I almost was.....she is the one from whom I learnt so many things..how to be in blogger world and how not to hurt others and tresspass their privacy, especially to repsect who they are and one big lesson..Never conclude.......how much you have read abt that person, know that you have not known them....all this without even chatting with her.....it was not necesarry ., it really is not necessary....you better realize it...but she is someone hwom I immensly respect..and she had said something about ppl who read her blog regularly and never comment.its not taking cheap pleasure...its knwoing a friends life.and so many times I know I stood by her .just in thoughts...after I read what she wrote I felt no need to present myslef....nor I was a regular out there...just occasionally to check whether she is fine or her son is fine.........she was too bold and open out there and she was more forthwrit....like if she has seen your coment on first day.she would have told you..thanks...but please fuck off.........this not your case study mr freud.......:) I knew u r doing the samething and expected some people would turn their blog private.........
wats the problem........? you are very egoistic for the personal blog world...........
and very new too.......if you have written.......that I was diff....that day itslef you should have realized I will have no qualms in shattering somebodys else ego if they tresspass my ego.and I have a very strong ego.....to let yours win......
And why.....this mail.....I am just concerned....many other ppl like that other girl......may shut their blogs private..coz of ppl like you.may be if i was an active blogger I would have done the same.......
or if I had any concern left abt my past effecting ppl opinions......but don't trample down others territory....and if you show half this concern and time...towards one person around you..you will discover wonderful ppl in real life....you will know those gilrs were much better....before you ruled them off as.....just concerned about nail polishes...brainless........
Ha!!! I remeber showing door to so many ppl like you just bcoz they said I am more independent and diff than many women they knew........and hell......someone is so egoistic and prejuidiced to give that statement and I think they are great......!!!!well......I love to show them their way out........puncturing with their big fat egos......sorry I have no problem with you....I tend to show my ego when others flaunt theirs an dthink that they are the only people who possess it........!!!!!1
and finally thanks to that blogger who taught me how to be still human after managing to say when it is necesarry to say
FUCK OFF
----------------------------
Reply mail
----------------------------
This my reaction...lol....
srry...am not meaning to hurt ur ego which is stronger not to leave me win or anything for the biggest email i have ever recieved....but this was it...that is how i felt...to laugh...not at you but at me....
fine...now to the point...if you guess i have an ego and prejudiced to things, it is true but am trying to be not that and i guess i am bit successful in it...it might be with some failures, but am learning...there is a long way ahead to go and be egoless....so i am not here to win your ego, if that is wat u want then, here it is i.....surrender...fine....?
next, you could have told whatever you want at the first instance or when we spoke, instead of waiting, i wouldnt have minded, because after learning your blog fully , i know you hated tresspassers and people who dint respect your privacy, but to make a point here, I do respect your privacy and also the privacy of my brainless and bangle chasing girls, that is the reason why I had always told you can decide to or not to ans or reply to my q's.
dint I tell you in the begining that i am best at pulling the wrong string at exactly at the worst situation? here is one more example...;-) it is happnd throughout my life...and you know what still am learning about it....
and about the last conversation, i was not there to make judgements on you or pass comments on you, but i was trying to find out the reason it is my inquistivness to know y, y ppl take choices like this, might be i have not had that view or never felt the way you felt or things you have seen and i know i might not be able to also, so it is just to know, moreover i did respect you as the friend you have mentioned and never wanted to be the out n out guy u have concluded me to be now....I was giving my views as you did...nothing personal it was just general view i had....
conclusion...the word...never conclude....the words you have written in the email below, so what have you done about me? you have concluded....that am one person with the big fat ego around here, dont know to respect ppl's privacy, dont know to be concerned to the ppl around and so on.... anyway thanks for the conlusions...it is not going to stop me from what i am...
About personal blogging, might be or surely I dont know the meaning of it, i am really a kid in the block, but am as inqisitvie as a kid to know everything that i can in this world, so i am here roaming around in this world and meet ppl like you n other gal n many others...to know this world, it is not my case study but it is my life that is roaming around here...
I would be online n you can chat with me on this or email, you will be always welcomed, provided if you would like.... and dont worry i would not ping you or email you to trespass the privacy you want....
and lastly...how is your health..hope it is good shape by now...take care...
thaks once again for making me write my first biggest email and sending.... ;-)
if this is my last conversation...just in case...I would tell all the best for your future and the path you are going to travel....take care
enjoy....;-)
als urs
MuthuKumar R
How did you feel?
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