Finally...

19 days to go before i post this...
i start writing now... so that i have my time to capture all that i have thought and make it the longest blog... :P


Indian style, happy news first, this will be my last post in this blog and the bad news is, that does not mean am gonna stop writing, just it will torture you people in any other form possible... yet to think about it though...

I studied 4 years for Chemical engineering....i have worked for 3 years 8 months and 26 days as a software engineer... but now am moving out of both to become a happy human being... so my day 1 living starts here, though all these years i breathed has been for this day...

sinthayile pala vinthaigal seithu... there is a song.. like that many people have performed their tricks over this little mass over my head, that has resulted me in this state. so anything you dont like about me, then it means you are scolding yourself, so think and scold ;)

I joined this job, with only one motto, money, as usual, what else can be for a chemical engineer to join a software engineer? first, to make a point, our education system is so wonderful or our society has been so much thoughtful that i completed my chemical engineering without even knowing what it is or what it would be for me to stand in front of a big reactor/boiler/blower or anything for that matter. i also doubt how much of my classmates are really knowing what they are doing, though they are still chemical engineers by profession. i became a software engineer within just 3months of training, but before that i had 18 yrs of education too... then i worked for completely different domain which dint require the Java i mastered in that 3 months.then with documents and useless sessions i was there, a consultant in front of the customer. there is not a single meeting that i can point out telling i attended fully without sleeping, or thinking about some girl, or dreaming about something else biriyani,beer, weekend outing, native anything else which does not involve my job...

thus i did all to survive as the so called consultant, expert, supporter anything they can term as... i would fall to the ground to ask a big SORRY to all the people for the unjustified salary that i get for doing no work or just some excel,word work that i sit and do. there are many hard workers who put their heart and body and work, but paid less, i also have been a reason for them to get a wage that is not equal to the work they do. please be happy, here after i will not be one of them.

when you are low and write something, all that comes in your mind reflects it wonderfully....so only i avoid writing at those times, because it will become same old story that everyone faces...but why am i telling this now? forgot...might be will continue later somewhere else....

this is on last day...
I expected i might write a lot on this space regarding this. but right now no time, secondly not feeling to continue it anymore. in another 10 hours am leaving this country and an industry back to new old soil searching my roots.

so take care all, keep blabbering here till you find yourself to move on to new space...

:)

Dream turns reality

Finally....
Courage, fearless, risk taking attitude – all these terms, deals with something about change.

 During my initial days in the industry, in one of my training sessions, the instructor was talking about this book and the importance of reading it. Hoping it to be really good, I somehow read the book. It was dealing about changes in our life and how we should adopt for it. Nothing impressed me in it. I thought it is quite simple thing and why make so much drama over it and why to write a book for it.

Today after 3 years, when I am standing in the cross road and carving for the road not taken, all my materialistic part of the brain is pulling me to the same old track ridden by all. Not able to imagine about the disasters that might happen the moment I start in the road not taken.

When you are divided into two parts, the reasoning by both sides is so much that, a mini kurushetra will be happening in your top floor; the worst part will come after you decide, the other part will not let you go ahead.

Now that even I had been in this are for quite some time, I had dared to take the first step, and to tell the truth till the moment I took it, I never knew it was so simple. But to take it, it literally took everything I had in me.

I had done this before, but came back past halfway, lured by the materialistic part. Last time I did something and when I turned up I did disappoint few people who were really happy for the decision. So this time I don’t want to make the mistake, I have written this post on 16-Aug-10, 18:30… check out for the posted time.

Now am out for my life time….

Here after no more corporate worker….

From now on my day as free lancer starts…

a thought this morning

i was in bus, on d way to office...
same route that i have been traveling since last september...
today it is raining, actually it is raining from last noon...
the road looked darker and the new spring grasses looked much greener...

at a signal suddenly this thought i got seeing a tree, it was budding, proof for the arrival of spring.. this is the first time in my life am witnessing all the four seasons in its glory... that tree, which had bee standing like a skeleton for the past 6 months like most of the other trees, which had shedded its leaves during the fall, which had survived the freezing winter along with the snow, while we were sitting inside the heated houses, today also it is standing with its buds, fresh and new in the rain, like a tree as it should be... it has adopted itself through it life with nature by budding, blossoming, shedding and standing tall with nature, unlike us, who always want to throw away the nature and prove we are above all in vain...
this tree had planned rather lived its life... how many days have we lived in all this years of our stay in this earth?

with this thought am sitting here in my office... what a contrast..

just like that

this phrase i hear often these,days...just like that...

everything now looks that way..and it looks better..i am happy with that...

the point of me writing was just to talk my mind to open space when none was there around in the early hours at office,but later it made me eel many other things and things turned out different..found a different people,and opened yet another crowded world.. humans are so themselves,that they make every place their home,where they go.. i found the same here.. i lost much of my feeling to write it here.. i write elsewhere..only for myself... but today..before sleep i felt like visiting this world...


i dont feel like lot is changed..though my brain is not in a very clear state to analyse the differences...but was happy to see the gal i liked has written few lines..

i have a lot to write,which might reach atleast a set of people... which can be as a record here.. but not now,i know that..am writing this from my SCORPIO(laptop),so first blog... tell hi :)

so like title this blog has nothing,just like that wrote something....:D
night

peeeelingspaaaa

manushanukku intha peelingsunu oru matteru yevallavu mukiyama irukku.....
aana naama yethu yethuko sandai pottutu intha peelingsa neraya edathula misspannidrom....
when we are angry or in some disappointment and not able to do anything, we just have our mouth and words.... we use it in such a way that we will never be able to make it up for it.... I myself had done it many times... to people who cant come back at me ofcourse, even if they can come back at me, i have nothing but these words...but even with them i fail to reason bcoz they have their own reasoning and knowledge on things that i am reasoning on... what to say,oru oruthanukum oru oru peelings...

somehow whenever these feelings comes only you will know what all you have done, got, missed, loved, felt, touched, desired.... anything you do by your feelings will never lead you to a place were you dont want to be... just our minds are made sharper such that we are insensitive to our own feelings... what to tell thy is the life...

am in no mood to give it up... be with me, you all.... :D

late new year

my world is going slow 10.5 hrs than the world were i was born....
i am not waiting anyways to celebrate with a huge party waiting or having anything planned also for this....
with the try to loose track of time it would be absurd for me to try 2 mark this point of time....
i just dont have anything right now in my mind to do or to think, but still to make the blankness more blank i have opened this page to blurt out something which would figure my state of mind...
our mind is one of the thing that can create something which is not there,or hide which is already there..it is just how we are going to direct it... when i see many people i dont even get the idea of how can they could have thought of such a thing, for that matter even my brain is completely a understandable mass over my head...
by this rotation of earth,i have left the idea of trying to understand it...
i am in the process of taking things as it is,even though failing miserably most of the times...
there had been many additions to me as a self this time, and most important thing i would tell is the white and black ladies...
i would tell i had lived an eternity during this time...
there had been times i thought time is moving too slow,and instances where, time had passed by so soon... all relativites...
but this year am looking forward i should tell... with few important things ahead which i had failed/missed this year...
once the first quarter is over,it should be a roller coaster ride, with 2 wonderful on my sides....
expectations are the reason for all the stress and disappointments...i know... still....
past few days have been really a different time for myself i should say, with usual too many thought process going around my brain and few experiences which have made me more urging to do things i wanted to...
people have planned 4 years ahead till their retirement,but for me only one thing i have planned that should happen by end of the first quarter or beginning of the second quarter,after that, nothing am thinking, that makes me more lively for myself or foolish to others....
all the fools are happier, that alone i know...