what do you do when you are in dilemma to make a decision?
when you have choices and you have to make the choice, your heart wants one and your brain recommends the other. how do you handle this conflict between your heart and brain?
the risk of taking something with uncertain future always sends that chillness into your spines. our heart being adventurous always selects the uncertain path and tries to keep us alive, aware, awake and conscious, the way to peace.
brain on the other hands, calculates, does the profit and loss, risk analysis and recommends the choice with better future in terms of the society and world. the reasoning of brain is supported by many around, actually mostly by all....
heart stands alone, and have only few people with similar suffering heart on its side, in number and mass it is weak, but the carving is for journey towards us, within us, still its points are been responded powerfully by the brain...
torn between this argument is me. choked with thinking, and just fighting to do what i want to do and still be safe, which is both contrast in itself.
the exact state is like a bundle of thread messed up. i can just take a scissor and cut it to get thread straight and aligned and with little knots or patiently remove it by following it after finding the starting point (still the edge of the thread is not seen anywhere).
here there is a a simple matter, which i also know, that this much fuss is not required for this, if i can just align my brain n heart together, and that process is in itself a great one.
do - i cant - i can - dont want to do - try to do - trying to do - fail to do - fear to do - still want to do - this how is it been done inside.....
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
63rd independence day
today they tell it as 63rd independence day of our nation....
many are feeling proud to be independent and are saluting the martyrs who have given their life for our independence...
people are wishing each other....
there is tricolor flag hoist, PM's adress to the nation, special programs on tv, holiday (many worry as it is sunday today), arr's vande matram at most of the places.....
but am thinking, what will the europeans who ruled us be thinking/doing now. how many will be remember that their wealth and development is because of their colonies which are struggling to grow up or in most of the cases struggling for survival. the small seeds of vengence,greed,hatred,idea of super power sown by them are grown up and can be seen all over the world.
now i dont want to be partial about just european countires, just cause my country was ruled by them for few decades, that was just an example. but my idea is about man fighting man for wealth, women, land, power, single persons ambition, corporates growth and many other reasons....
the most funniest thing is many people who are still not allowing his fellow man to be independent, is wishing others in social sites,tv's,radios.
in my personal opinion, till the time we just feel for our country and try to be brothers and sisters in our nation, we will be dependents and slaves. we cant live a life of freedom. only when we can love every person around the globe as our sister and brother and dont do something that we would not dare to even think for us to other man can we feel what is freedom. just a country celebrating a independence day is just to keep everyone without it. feel yourself free and know the meaning of independence....
Live and let live....
many are feeling proud to be independent and are saluting the martyrs who have given their life for our independence...
people are wishing each other....
there is tricolor flag hoist, PM's adress to the nation, special programs on tv, holiday (many worry as it is sunday today), arr's vande matram at most of the places.....
but am thinking, what will the europeans who ruled us be thinking/doing now. how many will be remember that their wealth and development is because of their colonies which are struggling to grow up or in most of the cases struggling for survival. the small seeds of vengence,greed,hatred,idea of super power sown by them are grown up and can be seen all over the world.
now i dont want to be partial about just european countires, just cause my country was ruled by them for few decades, that was just an example. but my idea is about man fighting man for wealth, women, land, power, single persons ambition, corporates growth and many other reasons....
the most funniest thing is many people who are still not allowing his fellow man to be independent, is wishing others in social sites,tv's,radios.
in my personal opinion, till the time we just feel for our country and try to be brothers and sisters in our nation, we will be dependents and slaves. we cant live a life of freedom. only when we can love every person around the globe as our sister and brother and dont do something that we would not dare to even think for us to other man can we feel what is freedom. just a country celebrating a independence day is just to keep everyone without it. feel yourself free and know the meaning of independence....
Live and let live....
ignorance
my last post and this post has some relation....
i had wanted to write on this tpoic from long since, each time i cross a beggar without giving money and enter into a multiplex, mall or to roam, when there is an accident on road and i move on, when few people are doing strike/dharna/fight i just see....
today i have made up my mind and time to fit into this. and when i sit here and think what to write, it looks weird about what am i going to tel at the end because this is a wide topic and cant be just summarised in few pages, so let me start a thought process which will follow with everyones understanding and experience....
ignorance-ignore-ignoring-ignored suits its situation.
- one person asked me while watching a movie song, do the heroes really bite/kiss/hug the heroins in the movies
- when i was standing in a mall to pay my bill, person behind me asked will they accept cash seeing everyone swiping their cards (mostly credit)
- the goods auto driver who bought my things to new place while the shift asked me, what all can my friend do with a salary of 20k (i had told him, my friend and his wife go for a job and each earn 10k, which was a lesser figure than the actuals)
- when a good friend of mine tells that his guruji is showing the meaning of life
- i have seen people including me, just ignoring, a beggar/small girl/boy selling something in the signals, as if they are not even present
in each of the situation i found one thing, based on their knowledge on particular matter the word 'ignorance' works and takes its shape. but this word doesnot ends there, it initiates other feelings like guilt, expectation, worry, inferiority complex....
so here is the part of relation where my last post and this post is getting connected, when your innocence is there ignorance cant come into play, only when you know that something is unwanted ignorance comes into place, sometimes even without knowing. so both are connected with another word knowledge.
but onething which we must note here is that, knowledge cant be seeked or stopped according to our wish. we know it, just we get to know are never get know...
with the knowledge we have how are we going to handle this word is how our life is going to be for us and people around us....
will keep knowing, ignoring.... till i find my acceptance.....
i had wanted to write on this tpoic from long since, each time i cross a beggar without giving money and enter into a multiplex, mall or to roam, when there is an accident on road and i move on, when few people are doing strike/dharna/fight i just see....
today i have made up my mind and time to fit into this. and when i sit here and think what to write, it looks weird about what am i going to tel at the end because this is a wide topic and cant be just summarised in few pages, so let me start a thought process which will follow with everyones understanding and experience....
ignorance-ignore-ignoring-ignored suits its situation.
- one person asked me while watching a movie song, do the heroes really bite/kiss/hug the heroins in the movies
- when i was standing in a mall to pay my bill, person behind me asked will they accept cash seeing everyone swiping their cards (mostly credit)
- the goods auto driver who bought my things to new place while the shift asked me, what all can my friend do with a salary of 20k (i had told him, my friend and his wife go for a job and each earn 10k, which was a lesser figure than the actuals)
- when a good friend of mine tells that his guruji is showing the meaning of life
- i have seen people including me, just ignoring, a beggar/small girl/boy selling something in the signals, as if they are not even present
in each of the situation i found one thing, based on their knowledge on particular matter the word 'ignorance' works and takes its shape. but this word doesnot ends there, it initiates other feelings like guilt, expectation, worry, inferiority complex....
so here is the part of relation where my last post and this post is getting connected, when your innocence is there ignorance cant come into play, only when you know that something is unwanted ignorance comes into place, sometimes even without knowing. so both are connected with another word knowledge.
but onething which we must note here is that, knowledge cant be seeked or stopped according to our wish. we know it, just we get to know are never get know...
with the knowledge we have how are we going to handle this word is how our life is going to be for us and people around us....
will keep knowing, ignoring.... till i find my acceptance.....
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Innocence, what? where?
When I was speaking with one of my college mate, she told that I am no more the innocent guy she met in the initial years of college, I just replied that it was just because of the time that is floating, and the learning I have got in the real world I am facing.
It’s been 7 years since I stepped out of my house to college and then to work. In this way I have learnt many things if I did wanted to or not. I dint even know what IIT was till first year end of my college, I don’t tell everyone must have known it compulsory, but just this example came in now as my degree was engineering, that was the background from where I came. Just my parents knew that I must be schooled, that too, in an English medium school, so they did, even if their financial terms dint allow them to, then I was to be sent to college, need not mention engineering. I, on the other hand wanted to go to Chennai for college, that’s all was my need to select a college. So, with the advice of many so called experienced people, I did join an engineering course after great dramas, the beginning where my friend was telling my innocence started to go away.
I don’t know what she meant as innocence, but for most people innocent is just being good to all and not having hidden meaning while talking and doing everything for others, at least, I describe it that way, it is also the other side of unawareness or illiteracy part of you on a particular subject.
For that matter, from the day I started to collect memories, my innocence was going to trash slowly, just college and work was great leap for it and has made it faster. On all the fronts I was facing, I found ways where my innocence was no more beauty, except for the people who were benefitting from it and also ultimately to my peace.
In the beginning, I never doubted any person if they tell me something, I would just believe it; I would tell anything comes to my mind and mouth, never cared for reactions or after effects of those statements; never knew something called mistrust other than in cinema, in that too villain would change in the climax.
But, life now, seems like a comedy. Not a single person I can rely on with full heart. Everyone has something or the other. Ego plays it role. I am searching for one trustworthy person, but in vain. All I finally hear when I talk with experienced people is that, ‘this is the real world for me’.
My question is all, why should i be like this? Why is that i cant trust even the most desired ones? Why am i not able to gain others trust, vice versa? why am I giving so much attention to my ego? Why is that people tell that I should grow up to live?
I know there are many people wishing the same about their innocence. While we were young, we dint have any commitments, so we need not worry about anything, just smile and small worries. But, our commitments now, asks our innocence and peace as price. If we can work harder in selecting our commitments and surroundings without disturbing our important part of lives, then might be it can do some good…
It’s been 7 years since I stepped out of my house to college and then to work. In this way I have learnt many things if I did wanted to or not. I dint even know what IIT was till first year end of my college, I don’t tell everyone must have known it compulsory, but just this example came in now as my degree was engineering, that was the background from where I came. Just my parents knew that I must be schooled, that too, in an English medium school, so they did, even if their financial terms dint allow them to, then I was to be sent to college, need not mention engineering. I, on the other hand wanted to go to Chennai for college, that’s all was my need to select a college. So, with the advice of many so called experienced people, I did join an engineering course after great dramas, the beginning where my friend was telling my innocence started to go away.
I don’t know what she meant as innocence, but for most people innocent is just being good to all and not having hidden meaning while talking and doing everything for others, at least, I describe it that way, it is also the other side of unawareness or illiteracy part of you on a particular subject.
For that matter, from the day I started to collect memories, my innocence was going to trash slowly, just college and work was great leap for it and has made it faster. On all the fronts I was facing, I found ways where my innocence was no more beauty, except for the people who were benefitting from it and also ultimately to my peace.
In the beginning, I never doubted any person if they tell me something, I would just believe it; I would tell anything comes to my mind and mouth, never cared for reactions or after effects of those statements; never knew something called mistrust other than in cinema, in that too villain would change in the climax.
But, life now, seems like a comedy. Not a single person I can rely on with full heart. Everyone has something or the other. Ego plays it role. I am searching for one trustworthy person, but in vain. All I finally hear when I talk with experienced people is that, ‘this is the real world for me’.
My question is all, why should i be like this? Why is that i cant trust even the most desired ones? Why am i not able to gain others trust, vice versa? why am I giving so much attention to my ego? Why is that people tell that I should grow up to live?
I know there are many people wishing the same about their innocence. While we were young, we dint have any commitments, so we need not worry about anything, just smile and small worries. But, our commitments now, asks our innocence and peace as price. If we can work harder in selecting our commitments and surroundings without disturbing our important part of lives, then might be it can do some good…
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