Thoughts to blog

I want to write blogs abt different things, from the  moment i woke up and came out to see it was raining in the morning, i found it was raining from night, but provided the depth of my sleep, i will never know even if thunder would have struck at my house, family habit;-), so basically i dint know that also until one of my colleague told it, i came out to see how chill it was, that is when one of the blue hut struck my attention, there where actually many but from the place where i was standing, ly one was in my view, i gues it mus be accomadating atleast 5-6 people, what would be their though process, i wanted to write in my guilty section but, contrary to that something else happened just an hour ago when i was attending a meeting, they where talking about Business cotinuity plan,BCP, according to that whatever happens, work should be going on, what for? for the future people, for someone's vision goal; last evening i was discussing to one of my friend that my collegemates where to do P.hd nxt year, and see how we are not even thinking what to do next minute n just living the life, he replied telling that people slog their asses with academics and stuffs to get into some big company to just make one peron rich, his vision come true, y dont they do it for themselves?, that conv strikes me now, so individuals are here as per Darwin's theory, but where does the diference of fittest comes here? if everyone are born with equality where did the difference starts? i guess might be everyone where equal, until the first handicapped was born into this world, he was lower to others, that s how superirity r inferiority complex starts, even then how did the seed of lower they foun? i dont want to give any athesit thoughts n am not here to attack god or any supernatural power that might be existent, just am thinking these things n abt my inability to understand or find what is the truth, what is the benefit anyway? will i be able to change if i know the formula of this world? maybe atleast i wont think abt these stuffs, anyway like my office quality plan, there must be a BCP always, but then life will be just business and the smartest n fittest suvives leaving others finally into more of.... like akikurachova's Dream, a movie, it will be hell soon, so anyone need not fear that they ll go to hell after death atleast.....anyway this topic is not going to end... so nxt thing i wanted to blog...
rain, it was really that good that i wanted to get drenched but, ofice hours, extended, you see its already 11+ hours since i have entered ofice, i wud like to get drenched, the saddest part is, this rainy season i dint get drenched, shud do that first....but dont kno when...surely it will be soon given my brave heart...;-)
then i wanted to blog abt my 1 year travel, it was just when i was speaking with my sis i found out that i have travelled this year like a travveller, not a real one, after upoloading my photos in flickr i found it, i mssd 1 trips pic in it, ll add it later....so maybe i ll write abt this travel sometime soon...
i am fixing an interview, if it works then i am going to question like a real reporter to put my guest into embarassment, but knowing the temper levels, i must be very careful n not act like arjun;-) let me see that...
mahashivarathiri, this word i used today, so small thing abt it, if you are awake for that whole night with your backbone erect, you will get energy for the next whole year, i dont know how far it is true, this shivarathiri i mssd at ISHA, so just stayed awake asusual seeing movies, some good ones n 1 dumb one, dont kno if that energy is ly pushing me fw....time up, nxt blog

Flickr - ready....

My flickr profile is kind of ready... i have uploaded my photos in them.... if some of u get a chance to visit it, give ur comments if any in the link.... shud add some tags for sum photos...ll do when i get time... for this ly i have spent nearly 2 days, that is my weekend...but it luks in a shape now... so nw...go visit it...

Link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/3rdiimages-mk/

Sony ericsson c510

Here goes muthu...joining the midrange phone club...not elite ones yet ;-)...i never liked having those high version of phones to use... but now losing my 3rd phone in 2 years hyd life, i thouhgt i ll go for a bigger one, not because i fancy them, but i just wanted one so that i cant take some photos wherever i go...that was the main reason.... so here i am with one in hand... never thought i ll own a phone of this kind..i feel strange...i never want to have it... i was happy with my 1100's and 1112 phones, those black & white simple model phones where good, perfect to my need, but this one luks odd in my hand... dont know how long i ll have it... but sure ll take many photos with it..that is for sure no matter what happens, that is the main purpose of it right? to get this phone i had hell a lot of dilemmas....but finallly i did it, just want to give a try for this also...gave it... hope i ll get chance to add my photos here.... let me see... it is too late...shud sleep....

Sunrise after rains

Past week fully it was raining, it was nearly that sun was not even seen for past week, cloudy, cool, damp, breezing low light days where one good thinks with drizzles continuing and ocassional downpours, preserving waters at all possible holes,gr8, isnt it, and this morning all of a sudden there comes out sun, as if he was bathed and clean, pure bliss, just ray striking at the wet damp places, showing the bathed earth in a totally new view, i went breathless, even the slightest dust was glowing in this sun, shit, my camera is empty, i dont have any thing to capture this nature, moment, this where i badly want a mobile with a camera, so i can preserve it fr days, but now it is not the time to crib, i was not even angry for not having anything to capture it, my eyes wher more than enough, behind the lenses, they were totally in luv, sure...it was a grace, a small girl running behind a hen, light glittering all over her...nature you are the best, and am sorry for destroying you and will continue it, i have to stop it, but that will not even make a 0.0001% of change, but still i will try to preserve this as much as possible for my future generations, but one day i know this will completely be destroyed my race, and it will be a hell...i dont know how or whe, but that is not far away... this will happen and that is when many scientists and leaders will think about it... but am not going to think about it now..it is in my hand but not... i am enjoying this moment...thats it....

Blogs...what to 'n' what not to??!!

"

A blog (a contraction of the term "weblog") is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.
"
----courtsey:Wikipedia...

First let me tell why i got this idea, as The Reader, i keep roaming into this blogworld for something which keep my glued to this stupid screen, that is how i met my first unknown blogger and am close to finish that history, as i dint want to overdose and found it addictive with that bloggers writing, i wanted to give some space for my mind to roam aroud, that is how i found another interesting blogger...went through some blogs and posted comments. This morning i went to the same blog to read something new, to my surprise it was not found. I retyped the URL, checked it ten times and still it dint work, later i came to know it was made personal, feeling that more personal stuff was in it...

So here I am thinking what to 'n' what not to blog... discussing with my mind... any discussion must have two teams or sides, so i have to create my split personality to discuss on this topic... let me discuss it with myself...

me: blog is just a place to write our thoughts, to be clear, random thoguts, we can write anything and everything we want, it can be like a personal diary, but open for everyone to read...

myself: when you mean it is a personal diary y shud others read abt me?

me: then what is the point in u writing in it?

myself: it is just for me to read in future, so i can know abt the things i have done, n can gain some +ve energy from the things i have crossed, -ve things i have overcome, happy times, etc... it is like a place where i can know myself...

me: here u come like a selfish human... when u can gain something out of it, y cant someone in somepart of this world gain something out of it... they may smile, laugh, cry, be happy, be confident, get energy to face this world, many things may/might happen...

myself: yes u r right.. but those are my personal self, y shud others know abt me?

me: maybe, y shudnt they know abt u?

myself: coz, it is myself, and my life, my encounters, my secrets, my embarassaments, my failures, my winnings, my all...

me: you can better tell it as 'your negative stuffs'. stuffs which if people come to know will think low abt you or think -ve abt u or whatever... worrying for others might something, whicxh might hurt your ego, am i right...

myself: hmm... you can call it, but that should be only for me

me: here you go again, y shud u have ly for urself, the feel of possession, feel of getting embarassed, feel of getting bullied by your fellow persons make you not to share it here... am i right? but why must you worry? if there some one to gain then there will be someone to crib also... everything that is positive has negative in its other side...north pole has southpole... thats is the basic rule of nature...

myself: maybe you are right, but still i feel it might not be that way...

me: yes, change, that is the key word for everything in this world, we feel like hell to come out of our shell, to risk everything that is in our hand, but when you do it, it would be the best that you will get. you know what will happen if you dont, but have you tried it to see what happens...no..

myself: y shud i risk everything for someone i dont even know or will not even know.

me: what is the purpose if you are not able to even read this infuture? what if you write this for 2-3 yeasrs and die somehow, what will happen to this? shouldnt there be someting towards which everything is going in this meaningless life... in life we dont know why we do all this..just to die... do you want even this to be the same way?

myself: you are trying to convince me, you are not thinking the other part of it, do you want me to right abt my broken luv, my evil deeds, my sexual affairs, my thoughts, my embarassments, my unfit lifestyle, my cribbings, my anger, my actions which were.... everything?

me: as i told you can restrain or not, that is your wish, but if you are able to do it for yourself you can do it for others also, i am not here to force you and tell that what u must n what u must not wirte, but just think what will happen because of writing n what will not... noone can force anyone to do anything, but it is your wish/decision to do or not...

myself: right, so finaly this ends with it is my own wish to do it or not

me: rightfully, so even this ocnversation is ended meaningless as our life would, what is the purpose? nothing. then why all these things? dont know... hahaha...gr8 life.... so lets live it happily...

so that is the disuccsion... for now my splits must be combined :-)

Week of hell n heaven

Last week continuing into this week is being hell and heaven....i saw many best part of me and my life and also the worst parts of me and my life...how this life takes u turn in seconds, i was very very happy and in seconds became gloomy,sad,vexed,hatred,angry....i was happy in few moments i became afraid, unaware... why, all of a sudden why hell should turn to me, why things mess up, i touch a thing and it becomes wonderful piece of...y...should write this one week and record it...but now i am not in that mood...so let me see when it is coming out...

First anniversary of my Anti-Climax

I typed this yesterday and forgot to post it....
Happy first anniversary....
Funny...isnt it...?celebrating my failure, my anti climax,my 12 year dream's doomsday... you know what, i also had a reminder in my lost mobile for this but, my mind had other plans, it gave me one great dream of my life exactly at the eve of this anniversary, one dream, short lived, early in the morning, i thought my life is really taken a great u turn,fantastic, but i woke up to find it was only a dream:-(...i dont pity myself for being in this situation, coz whatever happens, happens for a reason and the reason is always unknown till we feel it or recognize it,which is what we must have had at that time rightly.I still have hopes for the impossible, do you believe that, still!, after one year of this anniversary, stupidity, you call it whatever you want i like this feel of hope, so i am not going to shed it off, but this thing confuses me with many of the things that i have to do now..but noways of leaving this, forgetting this...i dont know if i was close enough but i know atleast that i was there to know it...
today while i was playing snake in my phone my both the thumb fingers were paining, it is been long since my thumbs had pained coz of using the phone keypads...it reminded me of this day...i have written lot about this but dint publish to anyone or anywhere, it is safely with me, very safely...i should reveal it but when, how, should i...questions that i have answers from my side, but dont know if this world is going to accept it, never, never will it accept to my theories, but how then, how else it can be told, how else my wish will be known...may be i am forgotten...may be am lost in the fight of the life, but i remeber everything...each moment...preciously, but what use it is going to survive if it is not remebered...it would be good if know somethings while we are confusion only, but life doesnt makes things that easy to know and solve...it will take its own sweet time, until that wait to know it....
now anniversary celebrations alone....

Today... day of blogging

I wanted to blog about many a things in the past one week, but never did it, reasons can be given as many, but what purpose will it serve, nothing. so let me try to dig my memory to write all that i thought i must blog.... so today will be blogging day,let me say....
I had a very bad last week, i was removed from one of my main application, which was the only thing that was interesting, had a bad time with an unknown girl, fights with my roommates, bad business, improper muthu's life, not able to do what i want to do, these things all made it more horrible. I thought i will take this place as my let out place, so i can tell all you unkonwn people that i am having a bad week, but never was able to do in daily basis. I completed watching newyork, luck, love aaj kal movie in the last weekend. Luck was one episode in axn's fear factor with indian masala added, stupid movie. newyork was a very good line of movie, but the director could have worked more on the screenplay and could have also done more research on the topic. the important things were not highlighted, so it also became a normal movie. the director was driven by emotions not by brains, i director cant afford that mistake, it is matter of integrity in a movie, with this big banner and star casting, he could have easily impacted people with many good things, instead of justifying some things....anyway it is my thought. love aaj kal, pakka entertainer, masala movie, but with brains. technically script was not going uniform, it had bumps, all of a sudden incidences taking grip over the movie and leaving it down. editing, could have been much better. other than that, movie had many good scenes, good sense of humour at places, good comparison with the old age and the present age, stripping of the mordern age people with less stability or no stability because of the wide options in front of them. morality was broken, that is good sign, but for what is important. here director tells his definition of luv and views. for just a movie,it is watchable once. i watched newyork and love aaj kal without my specs, so possible out of focus might have had happened;-)...srry for the delayed info.
my hair and beard is creating attraction wherever i go, which is awkward.peolpe are ready to donate money for my saloon charges. they want me to have a knot, but it wll take some more days. i got my broken specs done, i have joined the rayban club, but the sunglasses are turned into powered ones, so i can ly tell that i am rayban frame club;-)it was a search for more then 4 months and now it is ended. me, my hair, my mbear and my rayban....pakka don getup. may be i will release my don part 2 soon....;-)

This week I am obsessed with this optimism disease. I am thinking or expecting for the impossible to happen. Again and again I am being pulled into the whirl wind, trying to use my brain instead of my heart, but it is challenged by reasons, I don’t have answers, even though I knew the answers. I want it but not want to spoil anything, but it can’t be done that way. I am trying to reason myself for the act I want to perform. I want to know what is that I need, why is my brain not able to focus on one thing atleast, it is desiring for everything that is literally impossible. If I decide and go towards the impossible during execution I find that I am a coward, I am feared to do it, feared thinking about the future, past experiences, my luck every other thing… shit… how will I make my brain think. I don’t know, from where do people learn to think, how do they know what must be done next, how come they are sure that what they desire want is correct, what will be the extent to which they will go for their things to come true, why does my desires turn out to be awkward and out of the crowd, why do I fail in my desire all time, why do I lose interest in everything after sometime, this is one fear that makes me not to approach towards my impossible, thinking what if I lose interest over it after sometime, then I will surely worry for it, so what is that I am trying to do or going towards…. Answers I know but don’t know if they are correct. Whom should I ask if it is correct, are they the correct person to ask it, how far they can help me in really if am not open to the comments from outside in such matters, hell…. Why the hell am living here? What purpose do all this confusions serve? What am I going to get out of these things? Death. Then why…why…why all these things, so much troubles… shit….truth..lie…morality…illegal…god…devil…love..marriage…best…worst…failure…winner…loser…business…employment….studies….exams…birth…life..shit..death….shit…again the same repetition. Again, who defines it, are they definitions correct? Oh my god, I am becoming mental I guess, see if I myself think that thinking like this is mentality, what will others do… when will this world will be understanding that this life is purposeless..why do they want to add purpose into every new born and trying to make them a failure…oh my muthu…I am in search…search of what….nothing…yes I am in search of nothing.. I want to be nothing… I want to become nothing…I should find a way.. I will become…sure…but when???ly muthu knows. Don’t ask me….
I think this blog is not edited properly, but this is how it is flowing into my head….it comes, goes, then again comes back to haunt me…my thoughts… I want to be free of these stupid things but not able to…
my friend called me, I picked up the call, immediately he told I will call you later, then cut the call…:-))) there was no link ly.
what else did i think i want to put here...hmm....
memories are lost....maybe if i get remebered, will post it ....now going to continue with the reading...

Funny after breakfast

One small incident, just 30 mins back, made me laugh and think the huge difference where i am in. first incident, then my toughts....
I went eat my breakfast at office cafeteria, ordered it, ate it, then wen to wash my hand, I washed my hand, corrected my hair and was looking at the mirror....what the hell is funny in this....?pls wait... it is the next few seconds that made me laugh.... I was looking at a guy with hair that is grown but not long enough to make a pony tail ;-), 2 and a half month unshaven beard, which he was trying to set in proper shape. it was by this time i noticed another guy with full formal and tie, properly cut & combed gelled hair, full shaven, was standing near our former guy and washing his hand. the former one saw the latter one..... the latter saw the former one.... former smiled and came back to write a blog....
now my thought, where the hell am i living at, what the hell am doing, why the hell should be doing it,nothing...BLANK...i know it but dont know it...I know it is quite simple to overcome it but also impossible to be out of it....but i have to be out... how is that possible?i want to know what that latter guy must be thinking, he saw the former like an alien, it was funny... if you dint understand the fun part then it must be felt... sorry

Ssshhhhhhh..... Still am reading....

I did set up a deadline for myself to complete my reading by 31st of july but in vain. Lagging.... my laziness, my broken specs, some stupid problems, and irregular work times has spoiled it all... Still few months to be read, may be half a year is there... so deadline is shifted to end of this month, as i have some trips planned, i may not get good amount time to sit read it, but still i have to, as there is hell a lot of things that i must know, it keeps me sit past my laziness that is what i am not able to complete it, if i complete it then, i have to wait for one blog, once in a blue moon;-)
why leave it when it is there, so ly i dont blame if am reading very slow,
anyway let me read, i have things to blog also... so no time.. in this busy schedule...;-)