answer is spread all around. my writings has what is needed about me. when I made a fatal mistake exactly two years ago, someone forgave me and took me back and nurtured me from all that is evil. I thought after all, there is unconditional love. it changed me completely. I became different and I became so open that I was vulnerable even to a small sigh. but that gave me strength, it kept me breathing against all odds.
all that for what? only to one day kick me out of the flying mat from cloud nine.
while I was in air until I touched the ground I thought, that one hand will hold me with that same unconditional love. but all I have is business. you have no use in the system so have your freefall and break into pieces. 'every program should have a purpose or it will be terminated', as said in matrix. I am coded with never ending purposes, to reach the happy land that I would have in future.
my answer when I touch ground is, for me one la la land is enough. no need another dream. reality is here and the purpose will be what I tell. nearly after two decades, I realize what I thought and planned that night is a correct decision. now with consciousness I would do it. no regrets and no after thoughts. this is my answer and my unconditional love to you all. I can't hate anyone and I don't find any use in it. anger, vengeance, and all that is negative is not me. I can't show it to anyone. so I am not ready to lose my combination of understanding.
the moments I cherish are with me and will travel with me where I go. so I take the blames as usual and would stay at the doors to take the bullets first. even over my dead body nothing will effect my loved ones. I have that same smile on my face and would always remind you that it's okay, nothing is too bad to keep us away from each other.
so nashledanou.....
