Starting all over...

the word permanent and i cant go well. i have known this from beginning, but every time i face it, i get gloomy for being moving away from a steady state to uncertainty, which, will show me many more different things that i really need, but, gloominess is intermediate state for preparing and analyzing myself. I have been doing this for years, but still am not able to get hold of that acceptance in its full form, in its ripe state....long way ahead i guess…
anyways, what matters is the present, to do the utmost NOW, easy said than done.... how many people know that.....
if you get a chance to start of your life all over again from beginning, how many people will be ready to start it? of course, even then, you will not know the future or will be able to decide it, just you will get a chance to pass through....
being an individual person and to stay with your born individuality till the end is very important for every person. We don’t do that never, at times we do think about it, but our situation, society, life style, surroundings, people, work, movies, tv’s everything makes us to think different things which is completely not necessary at any point of time in our life but wanted for many others who make us to think like that…
there are many such instances I had faced, recent one is also similar one, that has really tested by base, testing my knowledge over myself and my actions and my needs and my control over me and my senses and on my life the way I live and view, deep thinking has made me doubt the very basics like this….
Thinking about starting it all over from scratch…. Whatever may be the reactions and things am gonna face, I am clearing the idea of what I want so I get it for sure…..